I'm writing this not because I want pity, not because all I ever talk about is the drama of my love life (because thus far, I've steared clear of that topic). I'm writing this because unfortunately it has been the story of my life for the past little while.
The Summary:
I dated a guy pretty seriously for the past 5 months. Serious enough that we were talking about getting married. The more we talked about it, the more I felt Heavenly Father's disapproval and my own disapproval stronger and stronger. So right before Halloween I ended it. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. How do you explain to someone that you love them but you get a bad feeling about being with them. Those are two contradicting statements! Amazingly however, I felt really good afterwards. As much as I missed him, I finally felt the peace in my life that I had been missing for so long. Note to self: Your first year of teaching is the wrong time to decide to get rid of your only social life. You don't get much of a chance to meet new people when you spend all day with second graders and all night with your laptop planning lessons and such. Needless to say, I've been a loner for the past little while.
I thought I was going to get lucky and would squeak by with a somewhat easy post-break up. The peace I felt made everything so easy. Then I found last week (3 weeks later) that said old boyfriend is now engaged to the girl of his dreams. My life has been a wreck ever since. Remember when I said I loved him? That didn't just go away because I didn't feel right about us. I still love him. At first, I was upset because I was in love with someone who was engaged to someone else. That felt so wrong! Then I was upset that I was still in love with this guy and it was affecting me. I'm an independent person and I hate admitting that something or someone can bother me. So here I am world, admitting that something is affecting me and I'm not as strong as I wanted to be. It sucks. Big Time. Luckily for me, I have some great family and friends who have helped me ignore everything that I have been feeling inside lately.
The Cure
My biggest distraction: School. I am loving it more and more. My students are starting to give me proof that I am actually teaching them something!!! The average score on our last math test was 8 out of 9!!!
I have also learned the application of the following quote:
“When we treat people merely as they are, they will remain as they are. When we treat them as if they were what they should be, they will become what they should be. ” ―
Thomas S. Monson,
Pathways to Perfection: Discourses of Thomas S. Monson One day I wondered why I didn't seem to have any of those sweet, angelic students I hear about and then this quote came to mind. So I have been treating my students as if they are angels and it's working! They have turned into the sweetest little class ever!
I have another meeting with the other interns all day tomorrow and I am seriously depressed. I don't get to see my students AND I had to write sub plans. Seriously, the worst.
Can I tell you how glad I am that I chose this profession? It's the best! The teachers I work with are so much fun and the students are adorable. A few precious examples:
- Last week I had a little girl bring a figurine of a woman she made with beads. "Miss Wood" she said, "It's you! I made it for you!" Yep, it made my day!
- I also had a parent come in last week to pick up his child and told me that his son never stops talking about how much he LOVES his teacher. How cute!
- Today, I was finally organized enough to send math homework home for the first time in a week and one student said, "Miss Wood! Do we have math homework tonight?" "Yes," I replied. Her response: "Yay! I love math homework!" Three students nearby heartily agreed with her.
I think I just might be doin' something right :)